My Own Story

Some of you are probably wondering why I am so concerned about bullying, and in particular, disability discrimination and villification.

I, myself, have been on the recieving end of it.  As a child, I was diagnosed with ASD (autism) and I probably had a number of other disorders eg anxiety, depression, ADHD and God knows what else.

And before anyone cringes at the word Autism, I believe I had one of the more 'higher functioning' varieties, like Aspergers.  I was told I was quite bright and very creative (and was especially good at drawing).

However, I struggled at other things, like maths, for instance; and having to participate in any physical activity was an absolute nightmare (eg PE or physical education). 

I was admitted into a 'normal' school for 'NT' (Neurotypical) children (who don't have Autism), and my parents sent me to a 'normal school.  But just because you are invited to the 'party', it doesn't mean you are included in everything.

Here are some of the things that happened to me in primary school:

• Being called a 'scaredy-cat' because of my dog-phobia (most of the reason why I was 'scared' of dogs is because I couldn't stand their barking and the amount of noise it made; and I especially hated really sudden loud noises also);
• Being physically abused (ie pushed mostly, struck/hit/punched/kicked);
• Once, I was even tipped upside down in the swimming pool and my head was pushed underwater (had they pushed it under for any longer, I might have drowned/died);
• Having the other kids imitate my voice (like I was retarded);
• I was also called names like 'spastic' and 'mental'

It was slightly better in 5th and 6th grade, because the boys in those years went to the 'brothers' (ie Marist Brothers, which was a Catholic Boys' high school in Bexley North) so I only had the boys in the lower years to contend with (and some girls or teachers I didn't like at the time - well I didn't hate the teachers, but I sometimes felt they 'cramped my style' and most of the girls around about my age group, I got on with okay).

So, in addition to having other kids make fun of my disability (ie call me a spastic or mental), but I was:

• Put down for being 'hopeless' at sports and swimming;
• Called 'big boobs' because I developed early (so I dreaded swimming even more because I had to undress in front of my less physically mature peers and/or wear a swimming costume);
• Couldn't go swimming when it was my time of the month (so luckily for me, the teachers understood, but I had to tell a little white lie to the other kids and say that something else was wrong with me);
• Had younger kids come up behind me, when I was having a drink from the bubbler, kick my back side and run away (this was especially painful when it was my time of the month).

It got even worse in high school (despite the fact it was an all-girl school).  In addition to some of the teasing about my disability and my lack of interest in sports, I was also:

• Criticized for not having a boyfriend;
• Called a 'lezzo' or 'lemon' (Australian slang for 'lesbian') even though I wasn't (I just wasn't that interested in boys at the time);
• Criticized for being 'too white' and called 'Whitey' (because I was not tanned enough) and for having 'white legs';
• Asked if I ever went to the beach because of my pale skin;
• Called names like 'Tart' and 'Slut' (even though I was anything but tarty or slutty);
• And teased and excluded for liking Heavy Metal (sometimes even by other people who liked Heavy Metal themselves, or some similar genre like Punk, for instance). 

And, just when I hoped the ignomony of being bullied would end, it didn't.  I experienced

• Long term unemployment;
• Denied entry into uni;
• Difficulties with others (teachers and fellow students) at TAFE college;
• Going into a shop and being looked at like I was an escapee from Callan Park Psychiatric Hospital (in Rozelle, an inner city suburb of Sydney);
• Being patronized and talked down to by 'suits' (though we use the term, 'yuppies' here in Australia, which means 'young, urban professionals);
• Street harassment and;
• Rapid weight gain

In 1989, I landed my first long term, 'permanent' job with an organization.  But just because you are in a 'permanent' job (in either a Government department or major corporation), things don't necessarily get any better.  The following things have happened to me:

• Insidious workplace behaviour eg being bossed around;
• Being criticized over trivial things and 'nitpicked';
• Being criticized over things that have nothing to do with how well I do my job;
• Being yelled and sworn at and publically humiliated;
• Having my work sabotaged (especially when I was a supervisor);
• Being subjected to trumped up, false accusations and frivolous complaints;
• Being excluded and ostracised;
• And being subjected to sexual, gender-based and racial harassment.

And while I have been going through all this, I have made an effort to seek other employment (preferably in another government organization) and further my education (usually through distance education) so I can improve my chances in getting another job.  While having post school qualifications is well and good, they didn't necessarily guarantee that a better job would come my way.  Still, one can only dream!!!

So, how did I handle it?  Improved assertiveness is one way, stress reduction and management another.  Also, trying to look after my health by eating the right foods, exercising and trying to keep my weight down.  I have also undergone CBT and physiotherapy (because sometimes the consequences of bullying were depression, anxiety and unexplained aches and pains).  It also helps to have hobbies and interests, and to do things that make you feel less depressed; and also to keep studying (even if it is just for the purpose of self improvement or self interest).

So anyway, I hope this answers your question more thoroughly, and explains why I am so determined to stamp out bullying and other forms of injustice.

cheers,

Night Owl