Maybe the bullies get screwed up the most?
by Kendall Hill
It's a comforting thought that these people will end up worse off than you, especially in high school. While the advice of 'Just ignore them' doesn't always work, the people dispensing with it often mean well (like parents or teachers, for instance). Like they'll just go away if you igore them, and only get worse if you 'rise to the bait'.
Maybe that's true, maybe it isn't.
And then when high school finishes, what becomes of your 'frenemies' and hanger-onners? You hope that in the long run, you'll end up being better off. In some ways, you are; in other ways, not.
The writer of the article talks about the way he was 'tormented' when 'Roots' was aired on TV, when he was made to play Kunta Kinte, the black slave from the series; and then years later, runs into his 'nemesis' and learns he is alot worse now than what he was years ago.
It is true that many targets of bullying will turn their 'loneliness' and isolation to their advantage, and acquire certain life skills over time, usually done so from years of studying and reading (to overcome their loneliness).
But what if the bullies aren't always popular and the targets unpopular?
Yep, that was me - sure, there were times when I wasn't always popular and they are often the toughest times. So, I made an effort to improve in my school work and (in the end) actually got good marks. This made some people (who were friends of mine previously, when I wasn't so 'smart') become very jealous, so they started spreading rumours about me and my family.
Thankfully, though, not everyone believed them and I was lucky to be with a group of friends that were fairly intelligent (and stood by me, no matter what) and that I had family who did care about me also.
And, what was even better was that some other girls in my year that didn't like me previously (when I was friends with those they themselves didn't like), all of a sudden became friends with me after falling out with these girls. I don't know if that was a good, or a bad thing, but I do remember having one of them come up to me and 'standing up to' a girl that neither one of us liked (probably because this girl gave as good as what she got). I at least felt flattered that I was being 'respected'.
So, what became of those girls who I fell out with later on?
Two of them I knew left after year 10: one of these girls initially worked in a retail store, and then got a few other jobs after that before doing a secretarial course at TAFE college two years' later. Apparently, she got a job with the Army. The other one wanted to be a Vetenary Nurse, but apparently, she got busted for pinching drugs (or so I heard). I ran into her a few years' later, and at the time, she was unemployed.
Then the other girl I didn't like (the one nobody liked and wasn't too bright either) attempted to go on to years 11 and 12, but ended up dropping out half way through year 11. Apparently, she wanted to be a pastry chef, and several years' down the track, I heard nothing about her.
So what became of all those girls? I heard the one I was friends with got herself pregnant to one of the 'army' guys and then he walked out. She had to bring up the daughter by herself (though occasionally, her mother would help out). Naturally, she fell apart and had to 'go away for a while' (the mind boggles as to where she went and what happened to the child after that). And she had the hide to call me a 'slut' and a 'mental case' in year 10!!! Who's 'nutty and slutty' now!!!
While I didn't know what happened to the girl who wanted to be a Vet Nurse, I did hear that the other girl who was pretty mean to me had died many years' later. What of, I don't know, but after filling my heart with terror and darkness all those years back in years 9 and 10, I can't say I was too sorry to hear about it myself either.
And then there were too other girls I didn't particularly like in primary school - one of these, I heard she killed herself (though why she would do it, I don't know). She was one of those girls that appeared to 'have it all' because she was very pretty and fairly smart.
Another girl, who hated me later on in high school (and spread rumours around about how I treated her in primary school) left after year 11 and I only saw her twice after that. It turned out she had some mood disorder and had to be on medication. Luckily for her, her life turned out okay, and I think (years later) she was 'sorry' about how she behaved back in high school. And I was able to 'let go' and forgive her.
So, with the presence of social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace, I was able to reunite with many of these girls, some of whom I didn't particularly get along well with back then, but most of them I was either good friends with, or got on okay with them.
And when I hear about those girls I wasn't able to 'make peace' with at the end of the school year, I do feel just a wee bit sorry for their losses, but not too much that I would ever let them step on (or take advantage of) me again. For them, the phrase 'what goes around, comes around' rings ever so true.
cheers,
Night Owl
by Kendall Hill
It's a comforting thought that these people will end up worse off than you, especially in high school. While the advice of 'Just ignore them' doesn't always work, the people dispensing with it often mean well (like parents or teachers, for instance). Like they'll just go away if you igore them, and only get worse if you 'rise to the bait'.
Maybe that's true, maybe it isn't.
And then when high school finishes, what becomes of your 'frenemies' and hanger-onners? You hope that in the long run, you'll end up being better off. In some ways, you are; in other ways, not.
The writer of the article talks about the way he was 'tormented' when 'Roots' was aired on TV, when he was made to play Kunta Kinte, the black slave from the series; and then years later, runs into his 'nemesis' and learns he is alot worse now than what he was years ago.
It is true that many targets of bullying will turn their 'loneliness' and isolation to their advantage, and acquire certain life skills over time, usually done so from years of studying and reading (to overcome their loneliness).
But what if the bullies aren't always popular and the targets unpopular?
Yep, that was me - sure, there were times when I wasn't always popular and they are often the toughest times. So, I made an effort to improve in my school work and (in the end) actually got good marks. This made some people (who were friends of mine previously, when I wasn't so 'smart') become very jealous, so they started spreading rumours about me and my family.
Thankfully, though, not everyone believed them and I was lucky to be with a group of friends that were fairly intelligent (and stood by me, no matter what) and that I had family who did care about me also.
And, what was even better was that some other girls in my year that didn't like me previously (when I was friends with those they themselves didn't like), all of a sudden became friends with me after falling out with these girls. I don't know if that was a good, or a bad thing, but I do remember having one of them come up to me and 'standing up to' a girl that neither one of us liked (probably because this girl gave as good as what she got). I at least felt flattered that I was being 'respected'.
So, what became of those girls who I fell out with later on?
Two of them I knew left after year 10: one of these girls initially worked in a retail store, and then got a few other jobs after that before doing a secretarial course at TAFE college two years' later. Apparently, she got a job with the Army. The other one wanted to be a Vetenary Nurse, but apparently, she got busted for pinching drugs (or so I heard). I ran into her a few years' later, and at the time, she was unemployed.
Then the other girl I didn't like (the one nobody liked and wasn't too bright either) attempted to go on to years 11 and 12, but ended up dropping out half way through year 11. Apparently, she wanted to be a pastry chef, and several years' down the track, I heard nothing about her.
So what became of all those girls? I heard the one I was friends with got herself pregnant to one of the 'army' guys and then he walked out. She had to bring up the daughter by herself (though occasionally, her mother would help out). Naturally, she fell apart and had to 'go away for a while' (the mind boggles as to where she went and what happened to the child after that). And she had the hide to call me a 'slut' and a 'mental case' in year 10!!! Who's 'nutty and slutty' now!!!
While I didn't know what happened to the girl who wanted to be a Vet Nurse, I did hear that the other girl who was pretty mean to me had died many years' later. What of, I don't know, but after filling my heart with terror and darkness all those years back in years 9 and 10, I can't say I was too sorry to hear about it myself either.
And then there were too other girls I didn't particularly like in primary school - one of these, I heard she killed herself (though why she would do it, I don't know). She was one of those girls that appeared to 'have it all' because she was very pretty and fairly smart.
Another girl, who hated me later on in high school (and spread rumours around about how I treated her in primary school) left after year 11 and I only saw her twice after that. It turned out she had some mood disorder and had to be on medication. Luckily for her, her life turned out okay, and I think (years later) she was 'sorry' about how she behaved back in high school. And I was able to 'let go' and forgive her.
So, with the presence of social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace, I was able to reunite with many of these girls, some of whom I didn't particularly get along well with back then, but most of them I was either good friends with, or got on okay with them.
And when I hear about those girls I wasn't able to 'make peace' with at the end of the school year, I do feel just a wee bit sorry for their losses, but not too much that I would ever let them step on (or take advantage of) me again. For them, the phrase 'what goes around, comes around' rings ever so true.
cheers,
Night Owl
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What is your own take on this situation? How do you rise above the rot?