The Biggest Victim (part 2): Out of empathy and compassion

I need to vent and quite badly too!!!

This is my 2nd 'Biggest Victim' post, about someone whom I've had to unfriend of late (and had done so a few weeks ago.  The first 'Biggest Victim' is someone I am seriously thinking of unfriending because I am disturbed by their stories - is it really happening or are they just full of BS?

This particular 'Biggest Victim' (#2) was having a few rants on Facebook about some recent political issues. I won't go into too much detail right now, because firstly, I don't have a real lot of time and need to go to work. And, secondly, I don't want to incriminate this person (or myself) too much.

The second reason is also twofold: I have known this person for a very long time. They share many of the same interests as me; and their eccentricities are part of their charm, hence this person is very amusing and entertaining in their own way (especially because they aren't trying to be amusing and entertaining).

But I don't know how to handle their responses sometimes, even though I understand why they may feel a certain way about different issues.

Of late, I have had some very strong feelings about particular political issues and probably posted some memes and stuff on Facebook, expressing opinions that a lot if people may not agree with. I am not deeply involved in these issues, well at least not on a personal level (even though they may affect me in some ways), and this can lead to conflict.

I am well aware if this - and sometimes freedom comes at a price. Not everyone is going to agree with your views. That's fine. Agreeing to disagree is one way we manage our interactions with others.

And the price of freedom of thought and speech is that I have to be mindful of people's feelings - and this is where politeness and empathy come in (which results in knowing when to step back).

Part of the problem with this person (and what I know of them) is that they have been rejected and ostracised for most of their lives. This is something I have experienced from time to time and it is something I have had to manage.

And as a consequence - this person has been put in a position where they have to take everything so seriously, and they feel it is their place to moralise and educate. I know, I have been there!!!

Hence, I didn't want to be the 'bad guy' either - I really thought perhaps if they had at least one friend (even when most people they knew had forsaken them), then perhaps they might come around; and maybe even lighten up a little.

But now I feel I have been on the receiving end of this person's 'schoolmarmishness', or as Milo Yiannopoulis would say, their 'nannying and hectoring'. And like Milo, I feel like joking about particular issues as well, simply because the thought police want to tell me not to joke about them. A bit like a naughty teenager being told off by a school teacher. This is a common phenomenon known as 'psychological reactance'.

And while I won't go as far as to say, 'F**k you feelings' like he did, I will say this, where does my right to free speech end if someone's 'feeling' are going to be hurt? Especially if this person doesn't always understand me back?

Maybe their behaviour and their 'Negative Nellie' attitude offends me too??? And maybe (as Jordan Peterson puts it), I also have a right to not be offended also?

Hence (as another friend put it), my 'empathy bag' has been emptied, and my compassion and goodwill been drained.

And I really don't need that negativity and in my life right now - I have enough of it in my own life already. :/

Cheers
Night Owl
(First written on the 9th of April; edited 1st of May, 2018)

Ventor, the Angry Dog: What am I?  A social worker?

(c) Milo Yiannopoulis: Your feelings don't matter (apparently not) 😆