Vera AKA Miss Adventure flirts with Miss Alternative

All,

My friend (who calls herself Vera Metallum on Facebook and used to call herself Pagan Baby on Yahoo) has just entered the Miss Alternative 2010 'Beauty' Pagent.  Her decision to enter this competition prompted her to ask herself what is the definition of 'alternative'.

This is a long 'essay' that she published on Facebook regarding the 'ins and outs' of being 'alternative' and what it means to be 'alternative'.  The essay begins with a definition of 'alternative'.

Citing from http://www.dictionary.com/, she states that an alternative (as a noun) is

1. a choice limited to one of two or more possibilities, as of two things, propositions, or courses of action, the selection of which precludes the other possibility.
2. one of the things, propositions, or courses of action that can be chosen.
3. A possible or remaining course or choice.

While as an adjective, it means

1. Affording a choice of two or more things, propositions or courses of action.
2. (of two things, propositions or courses) mutually exclusive so that if one is chosen the other must be rejected.
3. employing or following nontraditional or unconventional ideas, methods, etc; existing outside the establishment; an alternative newspaper; alternative lifestyles.
4. Logic. (of a proposition) asserting two or more choices, at least one of which is true.

Though, the main gist of being alternative, in this essay, can be understood to mean being part of a 'subculture', an alternative to the 'mainstream', being able to 'think outside the box' and differing (and deviating) from the norms and conventions of the broader community.  There are many examples of people and things which could be considered as 'outside the box'. 

Here is what she had to say about the 'alternative subcultures' of the latter half of the 20th century:

Alternative, as a subculture, is the antithesis of the norms and generally accepted conventions of society. Modern “Alternatives” encompass those who rebelled in one way or another in aeons past, for example the “mods”, the “bodgies and widgies” of the 1950s, the free-love hippies of the 1960s, the punks of the 1970s, the first wave of Goth in the 1980s, the heavy metal genre which has spanned at least three decades. And the 1990s, the decade I lived my teenage years, was the decade in which the term “Alternative” was first coined, not long after the Seattle grunge explosion.

She also cites Wicca (one set of religious beliefs and values she had adopted) as another example of what it means to be 'alternative':

Gerald Gardner founded modern Wicca in the 1950s (Alexandrian Wicca closely following), then in the late 60s Anton La Vey's The Satanic Bible was published – the beginning of alternative thought patterns entering the collective consciousness.

In other words, it was an alternative to the mainstream 'Judeo-Christian' beliefs widely held at the time.

However, being alternative can have much more *fundamental* meanings.  For instance, Ms Metallum cites another example:  Getting married and having children either 'too late' or (shock horror!!!) not at all.  She used Julia Gillard as an example, she was not only the first *female* Prime Minister Australia has ever had, but also the first *unmarried* and - wait for it!!! - *childless* Prime Minister!!!  And, why not?  Is an unmarried and childless woman not capable to running the country?

About any strong, independent women out there:

Despite the Suffragette movement (the fight for the right to vote) and the subsequent Womens Liberation Movement (the fight for equal pay for equal work), independent, opinionated, strong-willed women are still reviled in mainstream society, and is perpetuated by those who describe it as a “turn-off”, and similarly citing tattoos on women as a turn-off, but at the same time find it acceptable for a woman to open her legs for him, lie back, think of England, at his bidding? And if she doesn't, there MUST be something wrong with her!

And even for young girls, the same thing happens:

Same goes for the random guy on Yahoo Messenger who messages a girl and IMMEDIATELY turns to conversation towards cyber sex, and gets upset when she refuses, telling her there's something wrong with her and that's why she doesn't have a boyfriend.

And, even at the 'ripe old age' of 42, I still get some 'random' guy either try to chat me up in a public place, or worse still, try to 'befriend' me on a social-networking site like WAYN.com or MySpace.  Like, mate, if I was interested in dating you (or any other 'random' guy for that matter) I would join a dating site, I would not 'meet up' with you just because you want me to!!!

And even the 'feminists' (who go go on about 'hating men') sometimes don't do much for the situation of women in general and only make the situation worse:

Unfortunately the “feminazis” haven't helped the cause, claiming female gender superiority (which, in my opinion, is just as wrong as the male dominion over female), and perpetuating the misogyny that infects the collective psyche of mainstream society.

I happen to agree, because if the two sexes are to get along, it means some 'give and take' between them, not just one 'lording it over' the other; or one getting all the 'goodies' while the other misses out.

And Ms Metallum describes herself as 'alternative' because she is

not afraid to question authority, they're not afraid to speak their mind, they don't take things at face value

and is

independent, outspoken, self-reliant and opinionated

And in the case of fashion, being alternative many people means being:

as outrageous or as subtle as they want, tweaked to suit the individual. How many, or how few, tattoos and piercings is up to the individual, heavy tattoos that look good on one woman won't look good on a different woman. Choice of style, ditto.

And not...

'.... dangerously undernourished, underage “supermodels” who probably spend a great deal of time bullying each other and pulling each other's hair out, vomiting up dinner in a bid to conform to society's ideals of what constitutes “beauty” and the fight to be the the next top supermodel, instead embracing the variety of natural beauty and enjoying that fine roast chicken or potato bake (depending on whether one is vegetarian) and NOT hurling it down the toilet afterwards'.

Good one!!!  I like what she has to say about the girls who *are* like that (I certainly never knew many girls like that in my day, or if they were, they were certainly alot more discreet about it.  Having eating disorders, that is).

And she ends her essay by saying

Alternative is more than just a fashion statement. There are no taboos amongst the Alternative subculture, and what taboos exist in mainstream society are torn down. The Goth subculture looks for beauty in darkness, the metal subculture serves to remind the mainstream society of its dark side (the dark side mainstream society tries so hard to ignore). The darkness is to be embraced!

Welcome to the dark side!!! .

But seriously, though, I would like to add, I will face the darkness if I have to, but I believe it is also important to 'see the light' because the light shows up not only the possibilities and good things out there but also shows up *what goes on* in the darkness. 

And where stereotyping (and 'Satanic panic') is still ever prevailing, does being a 'Christian' (or more 'conventional' in some other way) and being 'alternative' in another necessarily have to be 'mutually exclusive'?  I have, in my own life, made alot of choices that could be considered 'mainstream', and achieved alot of the same 'goals' valued by those in the 'mainstream':  Finishing my HSC despite all the personal difficulties I was experiencing at the time; buying a house at 22 and *fully* paying it off by 40; being in the same job for 20+ years; growing up in a 'good Catholic family' (where my parents were, until last year when my Dad passed away, happily married to each other); going to *both* TAFE and uni and wanting a better job (and more money).

And who doesn't want more money?  Or are only the 'benefits' life has to offer *only* reserved for those who do conform blindly to what they are lead to believe how they should be?  I certainly don't have a problem with responsibility, as long as I get the freedom and benefits that go with it (and if that means living in a capitalist economy, working hard and paying my taxes, then I think I deserve something to show for it - regardless of whether I look like Paris Hilton or Wendy O'Williams).

However, getting a bit off track here - I may not have my hair in a mohican haircut, or pancake makeup, or tattoos, but neither do I look like Paris Hilton, Jessica Simpson or Lindsay Lohan.  I do not stand for bullying or putdowns from other people that I am supposed to consider as my 'friends'.  Or if I find out they have been backstabbing me in one way or another - for whatever reason - I don't forget it in a hurry, even of I am eventually able to forgive them.  Sometimes (but not always) it is possible to 'love the sinner, but not the sin'.  In other words, you can like that person, but you don't have to put up with everything they do (especially if they are the ones 'sinning against' you) or trust or respect them when they've done nothing to earn your trust or respect.  And what's more, as much as I *love* heavy metal, punk, and other 'alternative' music genres, it doesn't mean that I will necessarily put up with someone who does the wrong thing by me, or says something 'bad' about me just because they share the same taste in music as me.

So, where does that put me - in the 'mainstream' box or in the 'alternative' box?  And the moment the alternative 'box' becomes another 'box' in which to categorise people, is the moment it *ceases* to be 'alternative' (in the sense that it is 'radical').  Or, instead of categories, towards what end of the 'spectrum' do I stand?  Towards the 'conservative' end?  Or the 'radical' end?  Or somewhere in between?

But, regardless of where people think I belong (or how 'nice' or 'nasty' they think I am), I know I am certainly 'in a class of my own', 'one of a kind' (as my *dear sister* Ingrid would call me) and that I like to do my 'own thing' (as long as it's hurting noone else).

And, if you wish you can vote for Vera Metallum on here.