Homophobia, Heteronormativism and Hegemonic Masculinity: Male Same-Sex Intimate Violence from the Perspective of Brisbane Service Providers - Psychiatry, Psychology and Law

Homophobia, Heteronormativism and Hegemonic Masculinity: Male Same-Sex Intimate Violence from the Perspective of Brisbane Service Providers - Psychiatry, Psychology and Law
Authors: Melissa Kaya; Samantha Jeffriesb
Affiliations:
a Queensland University of Technology, Australia
b School of Justice, Queensland University of Technology, Brisbane, Australia

This is the synopsis for the paper written on abuse in same sex relationships among men - the hypotheses and questions asked are:
(a) intimate partner violence occurs in male same-sex intimate relationships,
(b) if so, what form this violence takes,
(c) what contextual triggers underpin this violence,
(d) what barriers victims face in exiting abusive relationships and seeking support, and
(e) what services are available and appropriate to the needs of men in violent intimate relationships with other men

The researchers found that:

".... the prevalence, types and contextual triggers of violence in male same-sex
relationships parallel abuse in opposite-sex relationships. Heteronormativism,
homophobia, and its close association with hegemonic masculinity, however,
emerge as features unique to the male same-sex intimate partner violence
experience".

In other words, they sought to ascertain how similar (or different) same sex relationships are to heterosexual relationships. The results found that 'intimate partner violence' occurred as often in same sex relationships as they did in hetero ones, and the same things most probably trigger violent (or abusive) incidents (or 'lover's quarrels') in same sex relathionships.

To me, it's nothing new: Gay people are not necessarily any more (or less) 'abusive' than straight people, and the same things 'factor' into the abuse as well. I have read about it, and seen it on TV - and even though gay guys might appear 'cute' when they are being catty, the actual problem of abuse in relationships is serious. And when you 'factor in' the additional problems gay people face (like homophobia or the lack of 'gay friendly' services in one's local area - these two factors and many others make it harder for gay people to come forward when abused by an 'intimate partner').

And I can also draw another interesting paralell: though I am not gay myself, I can imagine the context in which the abuse takes place would be very similar to any other individual experiencing abuse, where both they and their partners come from a different culture (especially when English is not the first language) or *subculture* (where people outside of that subculture don't know what it is like for the two individuals within that subculture, and have many misconceptions about the subculture).

Let me give you an example of subculture: say, for instance, two people (who might be headbangers, skinheads or punks) get together, they have much in common, such as liking the same type of music, wearing similar clothes, drinking the same beer etc. They find themselves very much attracted to each other. The phrase, Birds of a feather, rings ever so true. But months, years, even decades down the track, the relationship sours, and the couple gets sick of each other. They start fighting. Any non-abusive couple would do the 'sensible' thing and agree to disagree, and try to resolve their differences. That is how relationships stand the test of time. Or if their differences cannot be resolved, the relationship is terminated.

But for a relationship that is 'abusive', it is very clear that not only the couple cannot work out their problems in a sensible way, but the relationship is very 'unequal'. There is not the usual 'give and take' that occurs in non-abusive relationships. The friendship between the two partners is 'stretched' beyond its limits. What one partner used to like in another (eg the same musicians) gets used against the other. Or what faults the partners had that were ignored before (that made love 'blind') loom to the surface - and they get 'used against' the each other. Hence, it is not just about bashing, but also verbal, psychological, social abuse that one partner will use against the other to keep them in place. Why wouldn't it occur within two partners that like heavy metal?

And what would stop an abused partner/spouse from coming forward is the lack of understanding from the broader community. In the case of heavy metal fans, not alot of people understand what it is like to be one, and when one is on the 'recieving end' of abuse or violence, they find it hard to come forward against their abuser for several reasons: firstly, it is bad enough when non-metallers don't like us, let alone when headbangers don't get along; secondly, people have the wrong idea, and they think heavy metal is violent, abusive, derogatory towards women etc; they also think headbangers are stupid, so why shouldn't they believe they are violent and dangerous? And there are people who mistakenly believe that female heavy metal fans, in particular, are 'sluts' who 'had it coming to them'. Yes, sad but true, there are some very outdated, mysoginistic beliefs out there that some very ignorant people hold. And add to this, that many heavy metallers who are abused by one of their own are lead to believe they should be 'strong' (and complaining about abuse would indicate a 'weakness' on their part), it is a recipe for disaster.

Hence, a headbanger who is abused by one of their own (especially a female headbanger) is very much alone in the world.

Which brings me back to the subject of gay guys (or people from other, supposedly 'minority' cultures) - it is bad enough they are shunned by the broader community, let alone when they abused by one of their own. It is bad enough not being believed, being laughed at, being told you deserve it. But it is worse when you not only get abused by one of your own, but wonder if you are 'betraying' one of your own in the process when you report the abuse.

However, it is a chance you have to take if the abuse is to end: sometimes, you have to end, or walk out of, the relationship, sometimes, it means having to report it to the appropriate authorities (eg - the cops, the Rape Crisis centre, your trade union or professional association - if you happen to work with your 'abuser'). Domestic and 'intimate partner' abuse not only ruins relationships, but also communities, and even though the person you are reporting it to may not necessarily be 'one of your own', but you are just as much entitled to the appropriate legal and welfare services as those in the broader community.

(no) cheers,
Night Owl